


About Science and Vampirism

by LordKnightAlex



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Amica Endurae, Humanformers, M/M, Slice of Life, the vampire stuff is mostly an excuse for me to keep cybertronian cultural aspects in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 09:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20721890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordKnightAlex/pseuds/LordKnightAlex
Summary: Perceptor is aware his coworker and lab partner is a vampire. It's not as weird as it should be, usually.





	1. The Vampire Thing

Perceptor knew, and Brainstorm knew that Perceptor knew, but he didn't know if Perceptor knew that Brainstorm knew that Perceptor knew, and if there was one thing Brainstorm hated, it was not knowing things.

"Brainstorm, can you pass me a 10mL pipette?" Perceptor didn't look up from the test tube he was lightly swirling, only holding out his free hand.

"Depends, are you gonna be gross and use your mouth again?" Brainstorm held onto the item, arching an eyebrow.

"Really? You're still upset about this?"

"Yeah! You're always get on my case about 'unsafe practices' and 'not following protocol' but you have no problem sucking acid? I know I've had grosser things in my mouth but-" welp, there we go, innuendo or vampire joke? Probably both, he wonders if Percy is aware of either meaning.

"The liquid doesn't come into contact with my mouth and in that case it was citric acid! I can control my own practices"

Brainstorm makes direct eye contact as he hands the 10mL pipette with a bulb attached.

Perceptor takes it off.

Brainstorm has to remind himself how he would be in serious trouble if he broke his centuries long streak of no attacks on humans.

\----

"Do you guys think he knows that I know he knows?" the vampire scientist asks, dangling upside down from the chandelier he insisted on having.

"You could just ask?" Nautica suggests, still mostly focused on the project she's tinkering with "Then you could make sure he has no plans of telling anyone"

"No way! We have a thing going on. Like- like an agreement: no talking about social lives, not that he has one but you get what I mean"

"I thought you had a crush on him, how do you ask someone out if social lives aren't allowed to be mentioned?" Nightbeat pipes up from his place laying on Rung's lap.

"A completely professional crush! On a purely scientific capacity!"

"Right, of course" the detective rolls his eyes.

"Crush aside, it's still important that you talk to him about your vampirism for safety reasons" Rung, as usual, says something sensible and Brainstorm frowns at how his amica is always right.

"Fiiiine" he sighs dramatically "But if he tries to murder me that's on you" he points accusatively at Rung.

"Of course" he replies, chuckling.

"Bet he wouldn't exactly mind being impaled by Perceptor" Nightbeat stage-whispers.

"Nightbeat!" Rung seems scandalized, even stopping the light scritches to his husband's scalp.

"No no he's right"

Nautica lifts her head again upon hearing their laughter, snapping out of her focus on her work.

"Did I miss a joke?"

After hearing an explanation she just rolls her eyes, and talks about what she's working on when Brainstorm asks.

\----

Brainstorm takes a deep breath while Perceptor cleans his portion of the lab, apparently done for the day.

"Hey, we need to talk."

"Hm? Alright, what about?" he seems more puzzled than anything, probably because Brainstorm tended to just talk as much as he wanted without warning.

"I know that you know. About me." he says cryptically, because happiness is in the small things like seeing someone's eyes widen in fright as you talk about The Vampire Thing.

"I know many things, you'll have to be more specific." oh, no fear, kinda hot in Brainstorm's humble opinion but not the point now.

Brainstorm grins, showing off his sharp fangs.

"Oh, y'know ;)"

"Did you just actually say 'winky face emoji'?"

"Look, it's been a while since I've had to do this give me a break" he pouts.

"You have nothing to worry about, I am aware vampires rarely pose a threat nowadays due to alternative feeding practices, and with how dilligent you are in regards to your job it seems unlikely youwould risk your position simply to harm or kill me"

"... You think I'm dilligent?" his eyes almost sparkle at the unexpected praise "Wait how do you know all that?"

"My... Friend is a vampire as well" he says friend in that way that implies they definitely fucked and Brainstorm forces himself not to focus on that.

"Oh. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool"

The two stand around awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to say now.

"I... should go home now" Perceptor finally says.

"Yeah. Uh, see ya tomorrow"

"... See you tomorrow"

Well, that was not nearly as bad as he expected.


	2. The Friendship Thing

Perceptor wasn't sure what had changed since his Talk with Brainstorm, but the vampire seemed a lot more cheerful and talkative, and weirdly enough, he didn't mind.

"... And I was like, of course I know about radiation! I worked with the Curies! I helped with the research!" his arm movements are as indignant as his voice tone.

"You cannot be serious"

"I am! The jerk actually thought I wouldn't get-"

"No I mean about working with-"

"Oh, yeah it was like, my first big job, I still have the first pen I bought with my own money!"

Perceptor did not 'fanboy', he was far too dignified for that. He did however, ask many questions and may or may not have missed the right time to remove his test tubes from the freezer.

\---

"Drift once mentioned some vampires have special habilities" Perceptor asks one day, now used to the amicable chatter of his lab partner, enough that he would often be the one to initiate it.

"You mean other than my killer looks and genius mind?"

Brainstorm winks, Perceptor rolls his eyes in fond exasperation.

They continue their usual routine.

\---

Brainstorm doesn't go to work for three days in a row, and Perceptor begins to worry, on the fourth day he sees the worry is justified.

"Hey Perce" his voice is hoarse as he falls into Perceptor's arms, looking sickly pale.

"Brainstorm what happened?" He struggles to hold the other's weight, and carefully leads him to the nearest chair.

"Fucking hunters" he coughs "sorry about this, couldn't go to my amica and risk them being found too..." 

"Will you be safe here? How can I help?"

"Last drawer down, right side of my table, the can with yellow tape around it" Brainstorm has his head down, pointing vaguely towards where Perceptor should go.

He does as instructed, and hands the can to Brainstorm, who pokes a hole in the can with his teeth and chugs the contents with a less than pleased face.

"Kinda sucks having to drink this when you look good enough to eat" he mumbles.

"Uhm" Perceptor takes a step back on reflex.

"Jus' kidding, don't worry" he chuckles, and clutches at his stomach in pain "Ow, alright no laughing"

"Is that really enough?" Perceptor motions to the empty can.

"Yeah, should be enough for me to fight the poison. Unless it's not what I think it is but no hunter is smart enough to know what really works"

"Poison? But I thought you had near flawless immunity"

"We do, but when it comes to food there's a reason only blood and this-" he shakes the can "actually work. I'm not telling you what's in it by the way"

"I... I see" Perceptor was a bit disappointed, having often wondered about the physiological issues regarding vampirism, but he managed to put those feelings aside in favor of helping his friend. The fact he now saw him as a friend was something to unpack later.

"Alright give me a hot sec and I'll tell you what happened" that's all the warning before Brainstorm promptly lets his head fall on the table, leaving a small dent, and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright folks don't get your hopes up in regards to fast updates, this is an outlier of my writing speed and should not be counted. Also I'm working on my thesis so like, my schedule has limited time for gay vampirism
> 
> Chapter 1 patch notes: Tried to fix the punctuation a tad; added one line abt 'storm thinking Perceptor is hot
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated :fingerguns:


	3. The Hunting Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Throwing off a hunter's trail isn't as easy as going to your own damn work place

Brainstorm woke up to significantly less pain than when he'd fallen asleep, and his lab partner lightly shaking him awake looking more worried than he should probably be. Wow, Perceptor was actually worried about him, now that sure was flattering enough to make him miss the first couple of words he'd said.

"-should probably find a way to go somewhere else."

"Hm? Yeah sure. I'm good. Totally healthy, where are we going?" he says and finally catches a familiar scent from the corridor. He curses internally, of course the almost empty building wouldn't have thrown someone like Soundwave off his trail, the hunter could always recognize the flapping of his wings in bat form somehow.

"I don't know, where is safest?" Had the situation been any different, seeing Perceptor actually unsure would be the best thing ever, but alas his life was at a decent risk and he had to prioritize that.

"Somewhere with a lot of people, I know this guy and he doesn't hurt humans" he gets up, smiling and holds out a hand "Wanna go clubbing? Not many other places open this late"

Perceptor hesitates, but holds Brainstorm's hand. Score!

\---

So maybe the club wasn't such a good idea. Yes having many humans around minimized his chances of being attacked, but with barely enough energon in him for his body to heal itself and the overwhelming smell of people all around him... He couldn't exactly enjoy the moment. But of course there was no way he'd admit to making the wrong choice, so he lead Perceptor to the dance floor.

"I can't dance" his voice is barely audible over the loud music, but Brainstorm manages to understand.

"Me neither!" He shouts back with and laughs, shuffling rather than dancing "But we gotta blend in!"

It truly was a shame Brainstorm couldn't properly enjoy the situation with all his senses being overwhelmed, but Perceptor exhaled through his nose in an almost-chuckle and smiled, and he decided it might be worth it, just this time. Well, until his friend's expression turned to worry.

Perceptor said something and Brainstorm's brain refused to understand it, and he simply nodded along as he was dragged away from the dance floor and into a bathroom with an 'in maintenance' warning at the door.

"-feed again? I don't know if it's too risky for us to separate but I could ask someone to-"

In his not-smoothest move, Brainstorm smacks his hand against Perceptor's face to shut him up, thankfully with not enough force to hurt.

"Shhhh let me get my hearing ba- Oh god you smell good right now, you should probably leave"

"I'm not leaving you here alone!" and Brainstorm almost had the mind to feel flattered, almost.

"If you don't go you'll get hurt and it'll make things really awkward so please" awkward was putting it lightly, he wasn't sure how much control he'd have if he did bite Perceptor

"That won't happen" Perceptor rebutted, stubborn as always "Because you're smarter than this. How long has it been? You won't let the sight of me in a broken club restroom break your streak will you?"

Brainstorm focused on the words, but couldn't stop himself from hissing at the sheer petulance of them, and still the human didn't back down. Human, the word sounded like an insult in his mind, and he realized Perceptor was right, he was about to give in to foolish instincts he had fought for centuries now and all because of one mishap with a hunter.

He took a deep breath, and finally, with his fangs retracting, spoke up.

"I have a plan, but you have to promise not to ask any questions until we're in the clear"

Only moments later, Brainstorm was a bat hidden in Perceptor's backpack, doing his best not to make too much noise among the various books he was trying not to get crushed by. Now he could only hope Perceptor was a good liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took longer than I planned lmao  
I had a plan for how I was gonna finish this one but then I changed my mind and then I just Was Not Vibin' with the act of writing and so on and so forth


	4. The Crush Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perceptor realizes he has some unexpected emotions.

It wasn't hard to guess the man who entered the restroom was the hunter they were avoiding, so Perceptor quickly moved his hand to cover his neck and dishevel his hair a bit so his... Improvement of the plan would work. As expected the hunter soon walked into the restroom, and didn't waste time with questions.

"Where did he go?"

"Flew out. I thought the biting was some kinky thing but I guess not" he answers, groaning "Can you get out of the way? I need a drink"

The hunter's face didn't show any emotion, Perceptor could only hope he'd made him uncomfortable enough to leave him alone.

"If you're ever in danger, call." he said, offering a small business card, and left the restroom, walking quickly to continue his hunt.

Perceptor walked back to the dance floor, still holding his neck until he saw no sign of... Soundwave, apparently. He decided to consider this a victory, and quickly made his way out through the emergency exit, ordering an uber home.

\---

"Wow. Ok what the hell was that?" Brainstorm transformed as soon as he flied out of the backpack

"That what? I followed your plan, and I believe I have more questions than you do" Perceptor crossed his arms, frowning.

"You- you tricked Soundwave, they say he can hear lies"

"Maybe you've simply never met a good enough liar. I was in the drama club for 5 years it's nothing substantial enough to be surprised" Perceptor only watched as the vampire opened and closed his mouth a couple times.

"... Holy shit. Ok, I was expecting chess club president at most" 

"I did that too, and lacrosse. That's unimportant right now. I thought you didn't have powers? And how did that hunter even find you?"

"It's just-" he sighed, running his hands down his face "the bat thing is so cliché! And it's all I've got going on, I can't even cast charms or anything. I'm under powered, easy target, however you wanna put it" 

"I think it's impressive, I imagine changing physical form would be extremely taxing energetically and you do it quite fast"

"Really?" he looked flattered for a moment, but quickly shook that off "I mean, you're a human, you don't get it"

"If you say so"

"Anyway, I was kinda careless? I was running late and figured I could fly to work, which, was stupid, I know, but do you know how hard it is to wake up after sunrise? Anyway I got chased by a cat and I'm convinced it wasn't a regular cat. And then I was fucking exhausted because, again, supernaturally fast cat. This was just monday morning by the way. At that point I was very lost, tried to find my way back, I was gonna be late already but that happens. Then things got bad, because I thought I made the cat lose track of me but there it comes again, followed by Soundwave, so I guess that was his cat? Anyway, I barely managed to escape and..." he trailed off, blinking tiredly as the color of his eyes oscillated between the usual dark brown and a strong scarlet "and killing a vamp' in a secondary form isn't as easy as killing an animal so I didn't transform and he..." Brainstorm rubbed at his eyes, and paused to yawn "managed to get me to drink something, couldn't fly away in a tiny space an' all that..."

"You seem like you need to rest. We can talk more tomorrow"

"Hmm... 'kay" Brainstorm almost fell forward, seeming quite content with the prospect of simply falling asleep face down on the floor.

Perceptor held his friend up with an awkward almost-hug hold, he looked around his apartment, Drift's decorations and crystals covered almost every surface, but luckily the couch was free.

"Brainstorm? Can you get to the couch?" he asked, trying to somewhat shake him awake as well as distance the vampire's head from his neck, with no reply.

As he dragged Brainstorm to get him to lay down properly he was very glad he didn't cancel that gym membership. Once he was completely laid down, Perceptor pulled out his phone

[_ Perceptor: My coworker is staying the night at the apartment._

_Drift: the 1 u mentioned b4?_

_Perceptor: Yes._

_Drift: cool do u need me to stay out 4 the nite_

_Perceptor: No. Actually I would appreciate your help, he got into... trouble._

_Drift: k im omw _]

After fifteen minutes or so, a loud revving of a car leaving could be heard even from the third floor, and Perceptor was already familiar with the sound of his roommate's usual ride.

Drift greeted Perceptor and his eyes soon landed on the figure on the couch, already covered by a thin blanket.

"You do realize vampires don't get cold right?"

"I thought it would be... comforting" Perceptor ignored the flush of embarrassment that heated his cheeks, the explanation did sound silly now that he'd said it out loud "He got poisoned, and I'm not entirely sure what happened during most of the time he was missing, as he fell asleep mid explanation, but he's been trying to evade a hunter since monday"

"Do you know how long since he was poisoned?" Drift crouched down to look at Brainstorm, his eyes glowing blue as he examined the state of the other vampire's 'aura'. (One day Perceptor would really like to find out exactly what that meant scientifically speaking)

"Since monday? He drank something earlier today and said it should be enough"

"Well either he lied of he's stupid, if it's lasted this long he'll need... something stronger"

"Stronger in what way?"

"...relatively fresh blood? You don't have to do anything, I can see if-" 

"How urgent is it?"

"I'm not a doctor but half a day or so? I'm gonna call Ratchet to see what we should do" Drift got up and pulled out his phone, motioning to it.

"Please do"

Once Drift had left the room to make the phone call, Perceptor found himself sat down on the floor by the couch, right in front of Brainstorm, noting how his fangs peaked out just a bit as he drooled on his shoulder, and that even though he didn't need to breathe, small snores came from his slumber. Perceptor smiled to himself, at least that was some proof Brainstorm was still alive, which was obviously reassuring, but the fondness with which he looked at the vampire felt like a much less obvious feeling to e having.

"You simply attract trouble don't you?" he mutters, pushing back a braid that had fallen over Brainstorm's face.

"Ok so Ratty said that-" Drift walked back into the living room and his eyes widened, even if his cheerful disposition didn't falter, as Perceptor hurriedly got up "Oh! Are you having a moment? Sorry, uh, basically he's got some time yet? And Ratchet can come right after his shift in 4 hours or so and he should be fine"

"I- I see, thank you Drift"

"No problem" he smiled "I'm glad you're making more friends, even if he's from your job"

"It's refreshing to be able to talk to someone like minded, and since he came clean about being a vampire he's shown me a lot of his older work that's simply fascinating, especially for the time"

"Aww I'm happy for you you big nerd" Drift ruffled Perceptor's hair, the latter grumbling as he swept it back again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter so far because I've been overcome with love for perceptor for a while now
> 
> Also! I made a valentine's day thing which shows how stormy and percy look in this au (though now in the story brainstorm's hair is bright yellow and perceptor keeps his slicked back) https://lexsartsies.tumblr.com/post/190832032013/happy-valentines-day-have-some-dorks-from-my


End file.
